Recently I received a message from Mary in Dallas, Texas:

I found your blog, someone very close to me is trapped in an MLM – how
do I get her out? Please help. She is in SuperPatch Company and she
tells everyone she makes millions, I know for a fact her and her
husband live pay check to pay check.

Please pass any advice.

Here was my response:

Hi Mary,

Thanks for reaching out. 

I’m sad to hear that your friend is part of a scheme that encourages her to exaggerate her income claims. That is a common tactic used by predatory companies to create a feedback loop that keeps victims in their system.

Unfortunately, it is difficult to reason with someone who believes they are benefiting from Multi-Level Marketing (MLM). In my experience, the best approach is to:

1) gently question her decisions (ask whether she is actually generating a profit, or is she is spending more on the “business” than what she keeps), 

2) recognize that she may be suspending reality in order to convince herself that the investment will be worth it – which is called Sunk Cost Bias, and 

3) set good boundaries so you keep yourself safe from participating in the scheme as well.

Keep in mind that your friend may become argumentative and pushy. She may demand that you must agree with her or else she will cut you off. This is another common tactic used by cults and MLMs .

Over time, your friend may realize that she made a mistake; but in the meantime it’s important to stay strong and recognize that her self perception of success is blinding her from seeing how she may be hurting herself and others. 

It’s a difficult to care about someone and also set healthy boundaries, so I wish you luck.

Hope this helps!

Grace LaConte

Founder, LaConte Consulting

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For more reading, check out:

What’s the Difference Between Brick-and-Mortar, Franchise, Direct Sales, and MLM?

11 Ways Multi-Level Marketing is Like a Cult